In The Grim Darkness Of The Far Future, There Are Only SJWs That Want To Politicise Your Every Waking Enjoyment

Fuck. Sake. Just take a look at this.

So I've been an avid critic of Social Justice Warriors for quite some time, and now they've attacked my favourite hobby. I know SJWs have a habit of systematically criticising everything that mostly heterosexual males enjoy and chalking it up to some form of hate crime, but when you hit Warhammer, from a completely unfounded position, this fanboy gets pissed off.

Here's my rebuke of this white knighting drivel.

"AUTHOR’S NOTE: For the purposes of this article, unless otherwise stated, we are assuming that every model’s gender lines up with their sexual characteristics. Obviously, it’s possible that your entire Space Marines Chapter identifies as women, but since we can’t ask the models how they identify, we have to base it on what the model looks like, and how the background is written. We’re mostly concerned with official representation anyway, as entering the hornet’s nest of conversions, headcannons, and proxies would drive the author to madness."

That's the fucking trigger warning out the way. But it includes a rather telling problem that I'll address later on. Also replace "drive the author to madness" with "render the author's argument redundant". But that's fine. I'll play his game.

"They have six different armies: Space Marines, Chaos Space Marines, Space Wolves, Grey Knights, Dark Angels, and Blood Angels, and of the many people I’ve played with, only a handful don’t play one of them (myself included). They’re also the vanguard of the company and the setting as a whole, with so much more representation in novels, audio dramas and video games than any other faction, it’s frankly a little nuts. They are, in more ways than one, the face of not just Warhammer 40k but of Games Workshop as a whole."

True. 

"And they can only be men."

Also true. 

"I mean, they can’t only be men theoretically, and that’s where it gets irritating. See, according to the background (usually called fluff by those who play 40k), only men can be turned into Space Marines, because … you know what, the reasons are just too stupid to go into, and this immediately presents the first major hurdle when discussing the sexual politics ofWarhammer 40,000: trying to actually discuss it."

Well I'm going to talk about these "stupid reasons" anyway, because despite the fact that he thinks they're stupid, there's creative purposes for the setting to be set up the way that it is. (He also doesn't get to set the conditions of a debate we can chuck the "Thermian Argument" bollocks out the window for now, we'll get to that later.)

Space Marines are based on ancient traditions of warfare and survival. The best humanity has to offer is chosen for trial and become a Space Marine. This is based on ancient cultures, (Roman, Spartan etc.) where only the best warriors were chosen for battle. Why men? Because the best warriors are men. This isn't a controversy, even today. We compete in separate sporting categories, we send the most physically capable in the military to fight on the front lines which happen to be mostly men because they meet a certain physical standard. It's not unreasonable to assume that the reason there are no female Space Marines is because they don't meet the extraordinary psychical strength and endurance required. Especially when you consider that being transformed into a Space Marine is a process most men don't even survive. Only a few men get to become Space Marines and they are chosen from some of the most primal, brutal places in the Universe. This setting is about war. Endless war against terrifying adversaries. You can expect to find men featured heavily within these settings: Starcraft. Star Wars. Command and Conquer. Even Gladiator, Spartacus and Lord of the Rings. Men fight wars. If the catchphrase for this game was "In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium there is only nursing." maybe he'd have a case.

We also have to consider the gene seed. These are implants made up of cloned genetic material that, when implanted, causes a mutation that transforms the candidate to physically resemble the progenitor. Who were the progenitors? Men. And not just any men. Genetically superior super soldiers that are a product for one purpose: War. If the Space Marines are superhuman, these guys are essentially Gods. A gene seed is a cloned genetic code of the progenitor (also called a Primarch, all of whom are male) that gives each chapter it's unique characteristics. These include the ability to salivate toxins, survive extreme conditions and mutate their bodies to be capable of wearing their Power Armour, among other, chapter specific things. Space Marines become copies of the Primarch based on the Primarch's genetic code which, unfortunately due to the Primarch's toxic maleness, contains a Y chromosome. Now I could argue that this process is also a sort of a sex change, that should a woman be fortunate enough to survive the trials and become a neophyte (a Space Marine rookie), the process of mutation, surgery and implants removes their female characteristics and causes them to resemble the Primarch, who is a man. But I won't. I think "They're clones of male progenitors." will suffice.

Not only that, but most Space Marine chapters are sterile. That's right. They're completely incapable of reproducing and there's even debate on whether some chapters have genitals at all. Sounds a bit like a feminist utopia, right? Where men are chemically castrated and mutated purely for the purposes of sacrificing themselves to protect humanity?

But seriously. Let's be real here. Nowhere does this universe paint itself as a paradise for these men. It's an awful place. You can't even die peacefully without serving the Imperium as some kind of Servo Skull and if you want to escape the Imperium's rule you meet execution or death by Xenos. This is a universe populated by horrendous nightmare fuel such as Daemons manifested from the worst aspects of humanity, sex crazed space pirates that want to tranquilise and torture you to death for banter and gene splicing aliens that can infest planets and destroy your entire way of life in mere hours. I think a little sexism is the least of their problems! In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium there is only war! And for war you need warriors. Decent warriors. In fact you need an army full of Captain Americas. And the best candidates for this purpose are men, the best candidates for breeding conscripts for the Astra Militarum are women. It's based on humanity's primal survival structure, as humanity's survival happens to depend on it at that current point in time. They're not as concerned about manspreading as they are about being eaten by Tyranids. Like how the Romans were less concerned about equality than they were about the Goths. The setting derives it's poetic licence from those brutal, ancient human civilizations and cultures. Let's shine a little perspective. This is not a utopia of gender equality and identity politics, it's a horrible, fascist dictatorship where the sole motivation for the governing body is the survival of humanity.

At the end of the day, this is art. It doesn't have to be representative of the modern, moral world. Just because some fiction contains something uncomfortable or disagreeable, or invokes negative emotions, doesn't mean it's bad. It certainly doesn't indicate a problem. The problem he found was one he was looking for. The setting of the 40k universe is a nasty, fascist, totalitarian struggle for survival in an extremely hostile environment. It makes sense within this context that only men can be Space Marines.

However. Apparently none of this matters...

"See, the lack of any real female representation in the game is a well known issue,"

No it's not.

"but whenever someone tries to bring up that maybe the largest and most pervasive army in the setting should maybe stop being a No Girls Allowed club, everyone will immediately inform them that Space Marines can’t be girls. Trust me, I know. This has happened to me. Repeatedly."

If only you were willing to discuss the reasons... 

"This is what Dan Olsen called the Thermian Argument. If you want to go more in-depth, you should watch his three videos on the subject, but the basic idea is that this is a method of arguing around criticism by simply using the in-universe explanation for why something is the way it is to shut down the discussion."

So. Some muppet has come up with a way of shutting down discussion in favour of one argument by labelling any context based rebuttal as "shutting down the discussion"? This is indicative of the mental gymnastics you have to do in order to find the logic in any SJWs argument. It doesn't matter if a well established, decades long series of lore and prose gives birth, structure and creative license to these games and the reasons for many of their concepts and themes. "It's clearly sexism and if you don't agree you're just shutting down the discussion." Fuck off.

Not only that. His argument is a "Thermian Argument" if the basis for gendering all the Space Marines as male comes from "what the model looks like and how the background is written." He, himself has come up with a justification of gendering these Marines based on the in-universe explanation.

Astonishing.

All right then, let's just take the "Thermian Argument" out of it then, shall we?

"There is no logical reason why Space Marines can’t be female. Period."

They probably won't sell. Good enough reason? (This is the part where they usually complain about capitalism from the comfort of their Macbook Pro) Space Marines are by far the largest draw of not just 40k but Warhammer products in general. I know. I've been working professionally in the industry for many years. Why don't they change Ultramarines (the Space Marines most iconic chapter) colour to pink, or green? Because they're blue. They've been blue for years, they've been men for years and they're basic concept has gone almost unaltered for the duration of their lives. Why? Because it's an Intellectual Property protected by law, the market and is within the best interests of shareholders to be profitable, not politically correct. And of course there's the narrative concepts we've already discussed, which apparently aren't good enough. He's clearly right, GW don't care about money or selling miniatures they just hate women and I'm just trying to "shut down discussion"... what a load o' pish.
Or here's another reason. Maybe people don't fucking want female Space Marines. Money talks, and Marines sell better than any other army just the way they are. Then you include video games, movies, novels, board games, card games consumed by fans in droves, it's not unreasonable to assume that people love Space Marines just the way they are. Women are featured in every, single other army to some degree or another (provided they're not genderless robots or aliens). Is it too much to ask that a male orientated hobby in a male orientated environment, catered to a majority male demographic wont have one element of it that's completely male? I don't want to see female Space Marines, besides the whole army they get to themselves, and not because I'm some kind of woman hating misogynist (which is how I'll be branded, no doubt) but because Space Marines are a testosterone fuelled, super human engineered badasses that represent the most physically aggressive and dangerous of the human race. This isn't a description of women. A feminine element introduced to the Marines may diminish many of the reasons that people play Space Marines and potentially detracts from their appeal. People play Space Marines because they want a bunch of violence hungry frat boys on steroids. If you want something different, you're completely and totally catered for already.

"To get the fairly obvious out of the way, Space Marines are, as established above, entirely male. Adepta Sororitas, AKA the Sisters of Battle, are entirely female. (Don’t worryl we’ll address the Sisters in a bit. I’m getting to them.) Orks are supposedly genderless, being overgrown fungus (really), but are coded male from top to bottom, and are referred to by male pronouns, so they’re pretty much entirely male, as well. Necrons and Adeptus Mechanicus, being robots and humans who have been irrevocably altered with robotic parts, are functionally genderless. Tyranids are basically bugs, so again, genderless. Daemons are … well, demons, so their gender is basically nil, so we’ve got another genderless faction there."

"Coded male from top to bottom"? That's awfully transphobic. He better be careful or his target audience might stage a Twitter lynching.

But let's look at the armies where females aren't only represented but given positions of power:

"That leaves with the Eldar (space elves), Dark Eldar (mean space elves), Tau (alien communists), Imperial Guard/Astra Militarum (WORLD WAR 2 IN SPAAAAAACE) and Inquisition (you know the joke) as vanguards of gender equality, easily less than half of the factions in the game. For the most part, even these factions fall far short of being anything other than a boys’ club."

Wrong. Women are included fairly heavily in the Eldar army, tend to be powerful psykers (space wizards) and are often represented as Far Seers. Which are powerful Generals with amazing psychic powers. There's also units of agile, deadly female warriors known as Howling Banshees that will rake any generic Space Marine unit to bits with ease. I can also use his own argument against him. The Eldar faction are based on a feminine aesthetic. They look feminine and "since we can't ask the models how they identify, we have to go based on how they look and how the background is written." Based on this logic there's nothing stopping me from arguing that every Eldar Guardian, Swooping Hawk and Fire Prism pilot is female. Wraithguard, Wraith Lords and Wraith Knights are ghosts in suits that have a sleek, feminine aesthetic, could easily (based on James' justification) all be female.

I demand more male representation in Eldar. 

"To give credit where it’s due, some of these armies do pretty well. The Tau not only reference many of their warriors as being female with identical armor to the male versions of the same units, but also have an explicitly female character whose armor is completely nonsexualized. Similarly, the Dark Eldar have a high number of female models in their basic units, and while the predominantly female Wych Cult units dress …unfortunately, it’s not like their male counterparts in the Wych Cult units dress any better."

Tau is basically a Marxist utopia, so it's right up his street. Most of the models are in suits, vehicles or wear helmets and again, based on your own justification, the tabletop minis could be either gender.

Dark Eldar's female representation goes above and beyond the witch elves, yet he only focuses on the scantily clad ones, which for morally ambiguous, sadist, sex pirates isn't exactly unreasonable attire...oh shit I did that Thermian thingy again. (Wow what a brilliant way to invalidate criticism! If only the SJWs used their power for good...)

And one army I would have thought the Feminazis would have been all over: Astra Militarium. These guys are basically Communists. Mostly conscripted. Women are on the front lines, they gain significant battle roles. They're basically the Soviet union only far more authoritarian, right down to putting a bullet in the skull of a rifleman to inspire morale among the ranks. They also have much lower standards. You don't have to be a super soldier to fire a Lasgun, so they indoctrinate you regardless of your ability, hand you a gun and drop you an half a billion of your mates on a hostile planet to kill a Hive Tyrant, of which they're probably going to nuke from orbit anyway. The SJWs would love it. They'll quite happily bomb the shit out of a planet full of their own just to alleviate some other pressing matter. Nuke 'em!

"They’re probably my favorite faction that I don’t actively play, and I’ve always found them endlessly compelling."

I'm shocked.

"Since they’re often deployed in the billions, you might find it reasonable to assume that they pull troops from both genders, and while you’d be right (female troopers are definitely in the background, and there’s even a lesbian couple in one of the Ciaphas Cain novels), there’s not a single female guardmodel in any of their dozens of units. Okay, there’s one: a sniper in Colonel Schaeffer’s Last Chancers … in an army that will typically field an amount of infantry that borders on the absurd (I’ve seen armies push 100 models in medium sized games)."

"What bugs me about that is how easy it would be to implement. A handful of additional torsos and heads, maybe some alternate poses, and bam, you’ve got yourself a mixed gender squad."

I'm actually partially with James on this one. There's no real thematic or "Thermian" reason for the women to be excluded from the base troops as an option similar to the Dark Eldar. However, there's a fiscal one: Astra Militarum rely heavily on many, cheap units and the base boxed kit for them is one of the cheapest around to compensate for this. As a result the sprue for them is rather bare and extremely basic. Adding more options means more cost. It's also one of the best selling boxes similar to Space Marine Tactical Marines and Space Marine Devastators, both of which are on the GW Bestseller 1 list in multiples. When you can have armies that "push 100 models in medium sized games" this isn't a surprise. New moulds cost thousands, and add to that the additional cost of chucking out a perfectly good mould of one of your bestselling kits simply to add a couple of new heads and torsos? Impractical to say the least. Pitch that to the shareholders.

And now we get to the one army that blows this guy's argument right out of the water, ironically, because apparently they're his favourite: Adepta Sororitas: that'll be the female "Space Marines" there's apparently a severe lack of. Getting a whole army to themselves. That's right folks, the goomba that's complaining about lack of female representation in Space Marines features the one army that debunks his claim and ironically also happens to be his favourite army...They're literally Female Space Marines. All of them. Let's see what he has to say:

"The problem is, they are prohibitively expensive and incredibly difficult to collect. The model line hasn’t been updated since 2004, which means that instead of buying a single box of 5-10 plastic models for a unit, you have to buy between 2 and 9 blister packs of 1-3 metal models. No other army is still metal, which incidentally makes carrying them around a workout."

So his problem is, in a nutshell, that his specific army that he personally loves isn't being catered to in a way that he personally prefers. After admitting that they're too expensive to collect and play he's then complaining about lack of support.

He's complaining about lack of support for an army barely anyone buys. Back in the day the Sisters of Battle army wasn't exactly popular, when priced on par and shared a similar business model to the rest of the range. Yet they still managed to hold on for this long. Hell an entire games system was shit canned and replaced because it didn't sell. We could argue that the only reasons why GW are clinging on to this long dead faction is because feminists and manginas will kick up a storm if they were dropped. But I wouldn't go that far, simply because there is demand for Sisters now, we've heard rumours of plastic kits for years and a new re-release but they've been consistently delayed due to manufacturing and printing issues, apparently. The girls will get their treatment for sure, and it's in the pipeline so it's not as if they've abandoned them, nor are they deliberately excluding them or denying support because "Muhsogyny!" Don't worry, James. We all want a new SoB codex too but you don't see us riding on some ideological bandwagon to guilt them into releasing it. Have patience like the rest of us.

Let's not forget how fashionable it already is to criticise GW over money, but this boils down to marketing. GW is a boy's hobby. It is a "Boy's Club". The majority of people who play Warhammer are men. That doesn't mean women and girls can't enjoy Warhammer and in fact I know many that do, but they're the exception not the rule and tend to like Warhammer in spite of all these apparent "issues". Which to any rational reasonable person, aren't issues at all. Women who play want to be part of this "Boys Club" despite being a minority, many like the game just the way it is. The fact is many of these armies are devoted to certain playstyles and their aesthetic is part of this. If you want an army of muscle bound frat boy super humans wearing cover? Play Marines. If you want agile, hard hitting glass cannon army that focuses on hit a run tactics? Play Harlequins. Something doesn't have to be female to cater to a woman's preferred playstyle or aesthetic. Just like how something doesn't have to be masculine or male to appeal to a man's preferred playstyle or aesthetic. I'd love a new sister's army and was considering doing conversions until the new book came out.

"What I cannot forgive, much less understand, is why GW allows one of their best and most unique armies to languish without any support."

"Best" and "most unique" are subjective and people will only moan about that armies they personally collect. The voice for Sisters of Battle is small because they player base is small, compared to the likes of the Ultramarines. What really pisses me off is when they chalk this lack of support up to some kind of ideological or political reason that's completely unfounded. If the Sister's of Battle were the best selling army that brought most people to the hobby, they'd be the poster children of 40k. That's how capitalism works. It's not GW making these decisions based on some kind of hidden agenda. It's the market, telling GW exactly what they should sell based on what the consumer is buying. And "GW players are sexist" isn't going to fly.

Is he suggesting that all it would take for the hobby to gain a surge of new female players is by simply giving support to Space Marines with tits? Or the reason that women feel excluded in the first place is due to the nightmarish onslaught of oppression brought on by an entirely male range of 28mm plastic figures? Rather insulting don't you think? As if women are so mindlessly fickle.

So. Despite the fact that this hobby caters to and is aimed towards a male demographic, on a disproportionate scale, he's still wrong about female representation. In the miniatures and within the hobby community itself.  However, whether you like it or not, Warhammer is boy's club. And this is not an issue. GW don't hate women, women aren't deliberately excluded or discouraged from the hobby, their shit just sells better to boys. Women still like GW products and games. Despite these "issues" there's something for everybody in the hobby.

He seems to be attributing this "issue" to some kind of conspiracy theory. Some deep rooted, institutional sexism with in GW's corporate body. As if GW are having a meeting saying "You know what. Sisters of Battle would make us shit loads of money but fuck it, they're women and we hate them so let's not make that money and talk about how shit women are instead." Women are represented and women still love the hobby. And considering the subject matter and the target market that's something to be celebrated. Many of the women I know that play aren't even fussed for Sisters. (Who are basically Space Marines with breasts and the serial numbers filed off.) I know plenty that love Adeptus Mechanicus and Nids. Armies with plenty painting potential as one thing I know from my professional experience in the industry is that girls generally don't game as much as they paint. So more often than not I tend to find them buying models that are fun to paint, like exotic bugs that can look however you want and massive machines with huge panels for freehand. Pitching this hobby to women is easy and I don't think they care that women aren't more represented because the range is so inclusive of many play styles, aesthetics and themes. That and it already includes women. Lots of women. As discussed before. Let's go through each 40k race and see if it includes women or men:

Space Marines: All Men.
Chaos Space Marines: Both.
Daemons: Genderless.
Dark Eldar: Both.
Craftworld Eldar: Both.
Necrons: Genderless.
Orks: Genderless.
Tau: Both.
Nids: Genderless.
Astra Militarum: Both.
Inquisition: Both.
Adepta Soroitas: Both.
Imperial Knights: Genderless.
Astra Militarum: Genderless.

So from what I can gather: There's one, single race that consists of only men, and this is a problem? Forget that fact that there's narrative reasons (whether he finds them stupid or not is irrelevant) and actual fiscal reasons for maintaining this particular Intellectual Property as it is, not to mention legal reasons and reasons that shareholders would need convincing of. He's not happy? Well. Good. Because I don't give a special snowfuck about his feelings, or the feelings of the women he's apparently appointed himself the representative of. GW certainly doesn't care. They care about what sells and what doesn't sell. And the Sisters are coming. What we, the true gamers, care about? Blowing shit up. Letting the real world go for a bit, indulge in some fantasy, immersion. But no. We have gibbering manginas whinging and politicising everything from the movies we like to the games we play, to the porn we watch, the papers we read and the people we fuck.

This boils down to boys having some toys and feminists in their desperate search for discrimination are moaning that they can't play too because [Insert something problematic here]. Well it's bullshit. If you don't feel represented, it's because of your own invented insecurities or conspiracy theories. Despite being a boy's club this hobby has something for everyone. So enough. I'm sick to the back fucking teeth of SJWs moaning about lack of representation in everything. You want more representation? Make your own fucking game, movie, TV show or whatever and be the change you want to see rather than hijacking and criticising long established, successful franchises for the sake of being more politically correct. We indulge in these hobbies and this kind of media to escape the world, to become part of some fantasy. It's hardly immersive when you're reading a book or playing a game and come across the Affrimitatum Actiona or the Instutition Diversitus, bleating about identity politics and #nidslivesmatter or #everydayheresy. It's just fantasy! The setting is an awful, morally deprived place full of awful ideologies and regimens and that's not a secret! Nor is it a problem. Just because something isn't represented, like women or black people, doesn't indicate sexism or racism. GW isn't sexist or racist. They only care about one colour: Gr££n. And we've bought into an expansive universe, with all the prejudices, uncomfortable themes and negative connotations that comes with a setting as fleshed about as this one is. And we love it.

What really boils my piss about this crap, though. Is this is the one refuge many people (mostly men and boys) have from the pressures they face day to day. From women, from work, politics, from bullies, society in general. This "boy's club" is and always will be one of the most inclusive, diverse and welcoming communities in the world and gets enough criticism as it is: It's "sad" or "antisocial" (ironic) or "satanic", "encourages violence" and all the rest of the bollocks we hear from the other pearl clutching, wannabe Jack Thompsons of the world. People from all walks of life had to carve their way into accepted society out of the obscure, mysterious and misunderstood world of tabletop gaming. We had to prove to the world that we aren't weirdos or freaks or geeks or nerds. We're people. People who get stressed and want to let off some steam just like everyone else, and now we can't do that without hysterical leftist scrutiny and intolerance.

Just because "The Big Bang Theory" (or as I like to call it, "Black Face for Geeks") partially made "Geek culture" socially acceptable doesn't mean you get to infiltrate it with your political and ideological bullshit like you do almost everything else.

So a message for James and his Feminazi pals: Stop fucking politicising everything. And for fuck sake stop riding fashionable ideologies and misrepresenting them for some personal agenda. I get it. You want a new Codex.

Warhammer may be a Boy's Club, but as long as nobody is threatening it; criticising the sole refuge many people have to escape from the pressures of society and politics and making them feel guilty for indulging in it, anyone is welcome. As indicated by the vast array of different armies and playstyles already available that are consumed by a diverse array of fans across the hobby, including women. If you do intend to deamean this hobby or this community because it doesn't align with your personal feelings then you can fuck off, there's swathes of the world already catered for you. And if there isn't? Make your own. Leave ours alone. We'll make it exactly how we want, thanks. Go and read "Faith" comics and watch "Orange is the new Black" where you can grool over the sociopolitical themes and and leave us the fuck alone to play with our toy soldiers in peace.